Fostering a Relationship with Your Inner Child: Healing Through Connection and Creativity

Many of us carry within us a younger version of ourselves, an inner child who holds our earliest memories, feelings, and unmet needs. This part of us is not just a metaphor; it’s an emotional imprint that continues to influence how we think, feel, and relate to others today. Reconnecting with your inner child can be a profoundly healing process, allowing you to nurture the parts of yourself that may have been silenced, dismissed, or hurt along the way.

What Is the Inner Child?

The “inner child” represents the emotional, spontaneous, and vulnerable aspects of ourselves, the parts formed during our early years. When we experience trauma, neglect, or overwhelming emotions as children, parts of us can become stuck at that age. These frozen emotional states often resurface in adulthood as triggers, fears, perfectionism, or difficulties in relationships.

For example:

• A child who learned that expressing anger wasn’t safe might grow into an adult who avoids conflict at all costs.

• A child who felt unseen might continue seeking approval or overachieving to feel worthy.

  
  

Inner child work helps us revisit those moments, not to dwell on pain, but to meet that younger self with compassion, understanding, and care.

Why Work with Your Inner Child?

Building a relationship with your inner child can:

• Heal past wounds by offering the love, safety, and validation you didn’t receive then.

• Increase self-compassion as you recognize how your coping patterns developed for protection.

• Enhance emotional regulation, as understanding your triggers leads to gentler self-soothing.

• Deepen self-awareness, helping you reconnect with joy, creativity, and authenticity.

• Shift internal narratives, transforming “I’m not good enough” into “I did my best with what I had.”

  
  

When clients engage in inner child work, they are often connecting with one of the many “parts” that make up their internal system, a concept central to Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS views the mind as composed of distinct parts, such as protectors, exiles, and managers, each with its own feelings, fears, and desires. The inner child is typically one of these vulnerable, “exiled” parts that holds past wounds or unmet needs. By acknowledging, listening to, and nurturing this part, clients can reduce self-criticism, strengthen self-compassion, and create greater harmony among their internal parts, leading to integration and emotional healing.

Ways to Connect with Your Inner Child

The first step is to slow down, listen, and approach your inner world with curiosity rather than judgment. Here are some gentle ways to begin to connect with that part(s) of yourself:

1. Inner Child Visualization (taken from Dr. Richard Schwartz’s - No Bad Parts)

Take a slow, deep breath in… and then let it go.

Close your eyes. Ground your feed and relax your body.

Take a few more breaths in until you start feeling relaxed

Picture yourself standing at the edge of a peaceful meadow.

The grass is soft beneath your feet. A gentle breeze carries the scent of wildflowers. In the distance, there’s a beautiful old tree with wide, welcoming branches. Something draws you toward it… so you begin to walk, slowly… easily…With each step, you feel lighter… more open.

As you reach the tree, notice a little blanket spread out beneath it,

and sitting on the blanket is a younger version of you. Your inner child.

Maybe 5 years old… maybe 8… whatever age feels right to you.

Take a moment to really see them. What are they wearing?

What expression is on their face? Are they playing with something… hugging their knees… looking down… looking right at you… or something else?

Kneel down gently so you’re at eye level. Let them know, silently or out loud, that you’re here now. You might say: “I see you. I’m here. You’re safe with me.” Watch how they respond. Don’t judge.. Just notice how they react to you and your words. 

What emotions seem to come up for them? Do they look angry or sad?

Are they near you or hanging back, unsure? Whatever shows up is perfect. Allow them to do what feels comfortable for them.

Now, open your arms and invite them a little closer if it feels right. 

If they hesitate, that’s okay. Just stay present. Let them feel that you are not leaving. When the moment feels right, ask them “What do you need from me today?” Listen to their response and do what they ask of you. 

Now, ask them if you can give them a hug or what else they would like from you.

If it’s possible to get closer to them, do so. Then tell them these words:

“You are not alone anymore.”

“You are safe now”

“I’m sorry I left you waiting so long.”

Now, promise them you’ll visit again very soon. Tell them they can always find you right here, inside, whenever they need you.

Gently leave them on the blanket under the tree, Slowly stand, take one last look, and begin walking back across the meadow. With each step, you feel yourself returning to the present moment.

Take notes after the visualization: 

• What age did your inner child appear as?

• How did they seem to feel when you first arrived?

• What did they need from you today?

• Were they apprehensive or did they want to get close to you”?

• How does your body feel now compared to before the visualization? Is there any difference?

  
  

2. Journalling Prompts

Writing can help open a dialogue between your adult self and your inner child. Review these statements and notice which ones you feel most activated by. Select a few and write the statement out in your journal then use automatic writing to write freely about whatever comes to mind in response. If judgement comes in to what is coming up, kindly ask that the judgement go away for now, allowing free expression from your inner self to be heard.

• When did my inner child/teen feel hurt or betrayed?

• What needs were not met in my childhood/teenage years?

• What did I enjoy about myself/my personality when I was younger? Did it change over time?

• What does the inner child in me want to tell me?

• What makes me feel safe? 

• What doesn’t make me feel safe?

• Do I trust easily? Why or why not?

• What did I learn about emotions a child/teenager was supposed to show?

• What did I learn about emotions a child/teenager was NOT supposed to show?

• What am I most afraid of?

• What did I need most as a child/teen that I didn’t receive?

  
  

3. Art Therapy Prompts

Art has the unique ability to bypass the analytical mind and connect directly with our emotions. You don’t need to be a trained artist to engage in this work, it’s about expression, not skill. In art therapy, try setting aside any notions of perfection and instead approach the process with curiosity, noticing what emerges rather than focusing on how it appears on the page. 

Try one of these creative exercises: Use any medium you feel drawn to - crayons, pencil crayons, plasticine, collage, water colour, paint, etc.

• Draw your inner child: What colors, shapes, or images represent how they feel today?

• Create a safe place: Paint or collage an image of a space where your inner child feels completely protected.

• Draw both of you: Your adult self and your inner child together. What’s the relationship between you?

• Express an unmet need: Use color, shape, or texture to represent something your younger self needed, comfort, freedom, love, play, protection, etc.

• Draw or paint what your inner child is afraid of?

  
  

Afterward, spend time reflecting on what you notice. What emotions come up? What messages or insights emerge from your creative process?

4. Reparenting Through Daily Practice

Inner child healing is an ongoing process. Ideally, clients continue to build a relationship with their inner parts; spending time getting to know them and reminding them that they’re there for them and that they have everything taken care of.

Some ways to “reparent” yourself include:

• Speaking kindly to yourself and offering yourself compassion knowing that your behaviours, thought patterns, and emotions, can be a result of past trauma, fear, or needs not being met.

• Making time for play, rest, and creativity.

• Setting healthy boundaries that your inner child may not have been able to before.

• Offering yourself reassurance during moments of fear or self-doubt.

  
  

When clients nurture these parts, they often experience less inner conflict, greater self-awareness, and more emotional stability.

Final Reflections

Connecting with your inner child is not about living in the past, it’s about integrating the parts of you that were left behind so you can live more fully in the present. Through compassion, creativity, and curiosity, you can begin to rebuild trust within yourself and cultivate a deeper sense of wholeness.

Whether through art, journaling, or guided visualizations, fostering a relationship with your inner child invites you to turn inward, not to re-live pain, but to rediscover your capacity for healing, joy, and self-love.